The school day begins with a roll call. During the various roll calls of my life I have braced myself for the inevitable—“see-O-buh-han,” “Suh-Bon,” and other variations of lost sounds and syllables. Siobhán has three vowels and an accent on the a. Even in written form it’s overwhelming. The “bh” makes a “v” sound, the “Si” a “shh.” In elementary school, I held jealousy for the Sydneys, Maddys, and Emmas. These easily remembered and articulated names didn’t give the substitute teachers pause as they ran down the attendance list. Siobhán could never just be my name. It is a name that needs to be accompanied by an explanation to mitigate the confused looks it provokes.
My mom is from Dublin, Ireland and immigrated to the US after medical school. In her classrooms, she was surrounded by Siobháns. It was just another in the sea of Gaelic names that come packed with vowels. There were both intended and unintended motivations in the choice of my name. My mother intentionally wanted to make my culture inexorable from my identity. Unintentionally, she gave me this name which sets me apart from the rest.
The tendency to conform is ever-present in our culture. As such it reverberates through the halls of LM. Teenagers feel comforted and validated when they are surrounded by those who think and act like them. One does not have to feel self conscious about choosing to wear an outfit if the rest of their friends are also wearing variations of the same ensemble. In this reality, thoughts and choices no longer belong to the individual, the greater group makes the decisions. Reliance on this mentality is dangerous, especially as high school comes to a close and this validation decays.
Although barriers and insecurities formed when I was growing up with my name, it forced me to develop a sense of individuality. Siobhán might be a jumble of vowels but it also instantly separates me from the rest. In this realm, I have felt creative freedom and expression more readily available. My name is not boxed in by normality or conformity, so I try not to be. Observing from outside the box is something I hope more of my peers will be able to experience.
To my classmates and fellow students of LM: don’t fall or continue to fall into the copy and paste culture that our school glorifies and proliferates. My name’s challenges helped me shape the foundation of my identity and I am sure there will be many more mispronunciations to build up from.
