The official student newspaper of Lower Merion High School since 1929

The Merionite

The official student newspaper of Lower Merion High School since 1929

The Merionite

The official student newspaper of Lower Merion High School since 1929

The Merionite

Axe PSL ad

Introducing Axe: Pumpkin Spice… check out this advertisement!
Graphic by Emma Liu ’22/Staff

Introducing Axe: Pumpkin Spice

Many of our customers douse themselves in scents like Dark Temptation or Anarchy for Him in hopes of achieving the ideal alpha male image. But what if you feel no boost in strength after smearing your torso with Axe: Recharge Game? You’re not alone.

October is finally here. That’s why we teamed up with a 16-year-old Starbucks barista to bring you Axe: Pumpkin Spice. It’s our first body spray scented with the crisp flavor of autumn, the toughest season of the year.  

Ever since the pre-release of Axe: Pumpkin Spice in early July, our public resources team has been bombarded by hundreds of emails. “I don’t get it,” one loyal customer wrote. “I get why you made all the other flavors, but not this one.”

Another customer agreed: “I don’t want to smell like a Starbucks frappuccino. I want to smell like the lovechild of Thor from The Avengers and Edward Cullen from Twilight. I think you should go back to making those types of body sprays.” 

To anyone who shares their opinion, we want to issue a public statement: This isn’t the same pumpkin spice in your friend’s latte. Each pumpkin is picked and crushed within our bare, calloused hands. Each autumn spice is ground to smithereens by our lumberjack hatchet. Each droplet of sweat will be infused with our mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, and aerosol.

“I didn’t win any fights or get a date,” says one of our product testers. “I was hired to work on a hayride, though. That’s pretty cool too.” 

It’s time to achieve the image you’ve been waiting for.  This fall, stomp in the autumn leaves while smelling like success. 

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