One of my teachers has a painting on her wall, right over the doorway where the clock is. It’s a pretty smart design, making the spot where every student inevitably glances at look aesthetic. The clock takes the role of a boulder, with the silhouette of a man pushing it up a hill. It’s a reference to the Greek myth of Sisyphus, who is condemned by the gods to roll a boulder up a hill for all eternity, only for the boulder to roll down each time it reaches the top. The quote next to the mural reads, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy,” attributed to the writer and philosopher Albert Camus. I sat at a desk facing the doorway, so naturally, I stared at this painting all year.
High school has often felt like a Sisyphean task. Freshman and sophomore year were overloaded with busy-work, designed to prepare us for the AP curriculum and more challenging upperclassmen courses but falling short on most counts. We took courses like Global Studies and English I and II only because we had to, an unavoidable step to progressing through high school. We sped through homework assignments that didn’t teach or improve skills whatsoever. Some took shortcuts, some simply refused, but we all had the same feeling of annoyance. Why are we doing this? And what is the point?
Toward our later years, most of our focuses shifted to college. The top of the mountain was in sight; a tangible result for the thousands of hours spent inside LM. We had more freedom with our courseload, taking some classes because they were in our interest and others simply “for college.” We were presidents and captains and leaders of the clubs we’d been a part of for four years. Our grade felt more unified than ever with only a few months left with each other (naturally). We celebrated our lasts. I counted down the days to May 1 with my friends, and the last few months flew by. We were so close to embracing senioritis and being done with school.
The closer we got to graduation, the more I thought about my trajectory. For so long, my goal had been to “get to college”—to simply reach the top of the mountain. However, the boulder we have spent four years pushing is about to reset. We are all on different paths, but the new beginning is the same. For those of us going to college, we will be freshmen once again. Another path to climb, another goal to work towards. Our high school experience got us there, sure, but the four years to come trivializes the long four we’ve just undergone.
The line “One must imagine Sisyphus happy” is Camus’ belief about the human condition. It means that we must find meaning and joy in life’s struggles, however absurd and meaningless they may feel. Despite the busy-work and tediousness that comes with the high school experience, we have all found meaning within it. Annoyingly hard classes have improved our work ethic; friends drama has taught us who our people are. We’ve made memories and met people that have changed us forever. There are more mountains to climb, but our boulder doesn’t roll back down. We have achieved something. It was indeed worth it in the end.
I’ve felt done with high school for a while now, ready for bigger and better things. The endless waiting of the college process and the drawn-out farewell of senior year seems to have hyperbolized its futility. But when I think of my high school experience, I don’t have to imagine myself happy. Reflecting on my friends, teachers, classes, clubs, and memories of these past four years instantly invokes that feeling. We have all found pockets of happiness in a long, pivotal uphill.
Our lives are our own now. We have finished our required schooling, and now we can choose what mountains to climb. There will be boulders. There will also be meaning and joy that we must find.
