At our school, there exists a troubling epidemic, apparent to most of us but ignored by just as many. Throughout my high school experience I have witnessed a normalization of offensive slurs—whether it is the F-slur, the N-word, or anything in between—spoken by white, cisgender, and heterosexual students (before I continue, I will clarify that I believe the usage of these words is not offensive if the speaker belongs to their respective communities).
It is a pattern reinforced by social circles, where it almost becomes a sort of inside joke that one feels outside of unless they cave in and tolerate this behavior. If you laugh at it, you are then considered “cool.” If you speak against it, you soon become the new butt of the joke. This creates a sense of camaraderie in groups that indulge in such behavior, where anyone who challenges them soon becomes the “narc” or “too sensitive.” It acts as a sort of initiation process that determines whether or not one is “chill.” Expanding on this, Lila Apple ’27 believes that “some people value looking cool more than doing the morally sound thing.”
Personally, as a white, cisgender, heterosexual man, I have witnessed this trend firsthand due to the assumption that I am tolerant of it. Belonging to this demographic has often exposed me to just how many people explicitly say these things—oftentimes those you would never expect.
There is often little attempted humour added to these “jokes”—in my experience, these people simply find the words themselves funny. I have concluded much of it can be attributed to both shock value and ignorance: the thrill of saying a word everyone has told you not to combined with the dismissal of the history behind it. As Apple put it, “People are attracted to what they can’t have.”
The R-slur is especially popular, to the point where many people do not even consider it a slur at all. For context, the R-slur is targeted towards individuals with intellectual and physical disabilities. This follows a national trend where the slur is becoming renormalized across social media, especially among conservatives, where it is celebrated as “one of the great culture victories,” as the famous podcaster Joe Rogan put it. Cate Cantu ’26 has noticed this reemergence, sharing that “people at LM use the R-slur like it’s nothing.”
This pattern goes beyond slurs: rape jokes persist amongst students of all ages at LM, often about an unaware person. Once again, these become inside jokes amongst friend groups, either eliminating the initial distastefulness until its literal meaning is lost or embracing its abhorrent nature, desperately trying to amp it up in order to maximize the shock value, and therefore, the comedic value.
Very little is done to stop this—since it mostly happens within confined social circles, many people are unaware that their fellow students say this around each other. Those that become aware and criticize them for it are then often seen as too “uptight” or regarded as trying to put themselves in a position of power so they can feel better about themselves. This then discourages others from speaking up as well. Amelia Krivitzky ’27 shared her personal experience with it: “I’ve never heard someone say it and someone else be like, ‘Don’t say that.’” Cantu echoed this, explaining, “Instead of standing up to these awful things, they laugh it off or push it under the rug because they don’t want to be perceived as ‘too woke’ or are afraid to say something that makes people uncomfortable.”
But almost as guilty as the perpetuator of this behavior is the bystander. Chances are, you know someone, are friends with someone, or could even be dating someone who you are aware participates in this behavior. I encourage that if you do feel uncomfortable with this language and recognize its hatefulness, you have a conversation with them. It does not have to mean cutting them off, or exposing them to everyone. It can simply mean letting them know that you are not OK with what they are saying. While it may take some social bravery, this is the process of unnormalizing something: minimizing its field of tolerance.
I believe there is a lack of discussion around this topic. While the offenders may try to argue that “wokeism” and “political correctness” has oppressed people as a result of social media (think about all the people who were canceled in 2020), there seems to be very little actual discussion at school. Cantu shared, “Sure, there’s No Place for Hate and Aces Expectations, but they are not taken seriously and most people just don’t care.” It is clear that LM does not seem to believe it is a topic that necessitates action and prevention. This could be due to the fact that school faculty does not understand the full extent to which the problem exists at LM, or they may believe it is out of their control. I urge the school to reevaluate this view and encourage discussion because it is uncomfortable.
Speaking of which, I know that those of you who do engage in this behavior may feel uncomfortable with this article. I would like to clarify that the purpose of this article is not necessarily to condemn and punish you; it is meant to spread awareness and generate conversation about a topic as sensitive and unpleasant as this. People can, in fact, change, and I encourage you to reflect on your usage and treatment of radically offensive material and think about what best represents you. As you may have heard before, if you are unwilling to say something to one of your friends, your partner, your family, or anyone else in your life, you probably should not say it at all.
Finally, to all of you, I ask that you do not become desensitized to this behavior because of the sheer volume of it at our school. Instead, objectively recognize it as what it is: immature, disgusting, and inappropriate.
